Furious FX

Bitter Sweet.

2011-10-13T15:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes revenge can be really satisfying. What about for someone who has been searching for revenge all their life? Does there life change and suddenly the future is brighter? Does the revenge handle all of their problems and make it so they can live a normal life? Do they even know what their purpose in life is?
You can kind of take a guess at the answer to those questions. I don't imagine it is a positive answer. So many unknowns.
Naturally, I didn't create this wallpaper to question motives. Afro Samurai is just a very awesome character. Completely, contradictory with his samurai-like determinism and honor and yet he is African-American with a big 70's style afro! Not exactly the standard samurai characters we are used to seeing! I love how unique he is.
His purpose in life is revenge from what I know about him. I also placed the quote on there, because I felt it was very controversial and, yet tells you a lot about who he is.
Visually, I wanted something simple with a splash of a single color. Two-tone I guess that is called. The black and white really gives it an old retro sort of feel. The red however speaks loudly. It's bold, powerful, full of richness and beauty. There is also the aspect of red representing blood or bloodshed, a common occurrence in the Afro Samurai series. I threw in some 3D abstracts to give a feel of sparks or something like that. Also in the color of red so that they fit with the theme. I also like the red banner that I added, as it adds a shock of bright red to mix it up. It also holds the words "afro samurai" in Japanese.
The background is actually a real picture of some place in Japan that I found on the net. I added some filters and blur to it, so that it would match the comic book look and feel.
Not much else to say on this one, but I enjoy the simplicity.

War and Retribution.

2011-09-16T23:10:00.000-07:00

Here is my last batch of icons for the moment. I'm very proud of (most of) them. I enjoy using them in my dock, and I hope someone else can too. I may eventually release them in a large pack of sorts. I haven't made any icons for actual programs, however if any requests are made I will gladly fulfill. I can also do other games too. This set of four includes Need For Speed: Most Wanted Black Edition (I made an icon for the regular version, but I prefer this one), Halo 2, World of Warcraft and Star Wars Republic Commando. Done with these for now, but I know I will do more in the future, probably even soon.

Hidden Agenda.

2011-09-16T13:44:00.000-07:00

Almost out of icons! Here we have Rainbow Six Vegas 2, S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Shadow of Chernobyl, Starcraft II Wings of Liberty and Star Wars Battlefront II. The Stalker icon was especially difficult to make, due to the lack of good artwork or screenshots for that game. I also found the same to be true for Battlefront II, however it did have a lot more artwork readily available, but none I felt worked. So I used a picture from the movie Episode III, which I believe fits a whole lot better anyway.

Have Pea Shooter, Will Travel.

2011-09-16T13:40:00.000-07:00

Here we have my next batch of icons. These are Need For Speed Carbon, Need For Speed ProStreet, Need For Speed World Online and Plants Vs. Zombies. This group of icons is all about speed! Except the plants and zombies... Because those zombies are slow as hell, and plants don't move.... Sooooo, yeah....

Science and Fantasy.

2011-09-15T20:10:00.000-07:00

Another set of four awesome icons (gloat much?) We have Gears of War, Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved, Guild Wars and Lord of the Rings Online. I have a lot of games with war or wars in the title... This seems to be a recurring theme in my ever expanding collection of games and game experiences. What draws me to the infinite fascination of alternate universes and wars fought by beings that don't exist? I don't know, but it makes for good games, books and movies!

Alternative.

2011-09-15T19:45:00.000-07:00

Four more icons for the collection. We have here Company of Heroes: Tales of Valor, Crysis, Crysis: Warhead and Diablo II: Lord of Destruction. I don't even own Tales of Valor yet, however I thought the cover was bad ass and made an icon for it! Of this collection, one game I haven't even played, yet and another I have played more (Diablo 2) then any other game, ever. According to Xfire I have put in roughly 900 hours. However that doesn't count the 900+ hours I put in it about 3-4 years ago, before I had Xfire. That leaves both the Crysis games left, and I have put equally minimal amounts of time into them, as no computer I've owned has been able to play them... Yet....

Conflict.

2011-09-15T19:03:00.000-07:00

Here we have another set of four icons. There four are Call of Duty: United Offensive, Champions Online, Company of Heroes and Company of Heroes: Opposing Fronts. You may have noticed that I am a fan of WWII games! There is something that draws me to games that cover that war. It could be the fact that both of my grandfathers fought in it and lived to tell about it. Although what they have told was very minimal, and what I heard was from my parents. It might also have to do with the fact that I enjoy history quite a bit, and the chance to "relive" a moment in history and make it my own story, is something I enjoy greatly.

Dominance.

2011-09-15T16:49:00.000-07:00

Here I posted four new icons. We have Blacklight: Tango Down, Borderlands, Call of Duty and Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. This goes to show my intense love of the shooter genre. They, to me, are the most addicting type of games, far more then any other genre. It must be the adrenaline rush you get with the sensation of being in that moment of combat. If that's really what it is, it's addicting as hell.

Iconic.

2011-09-09T13:31:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been making icons for my rocketdock. If you don't know what rocketdock is, you can look it up on your friendly neighborhood search engine. Anyway, I use rocketdock to display any games that I have installed on my computer. Sometimes the icons that come with the games are very low resolution and look bad when zoomed in on. So I have been taking the time to create new icons usable in the dock, for any game that I add there. The first four that I posted up here are Angry Birds, Battlefield 2, Battlefield Heroes and Battlefield Play4Free.

Many more to come!

Out of Control.

2011-07-29T10:22:00.000-07:00

Well shit, I was so busy in the months of May and June that I didn't make a post during them at all. I almost missed July as well... I would say I've been slackin' but that isn't true. Just been busy. I haven't created any wallpapers or started any wallpaper projects, what I have done is made some signatures though. I'm going to go ahead and show those off.

Now the first one is the very first signature I did since getting a new computer. I did that one a few months ago and didn't bother showing it off, it's ok, but not that noteworthy. I think that it could have been better, but I was rusty. The character is from Crysis 2.

The second one is one I'm actually proud of, it came out better then I thought and I really enjoy the mix of lime green and purple. The swirly looking lime green effect is one of my favorite effects that I've ever made. It was also an excuse to, for the first time ever, use Misa Campo as the subject in a photoshop piece.

This third signature is actually for a request I did. He wanted those Skis somehow integrated, so I did my best. I'm not real satisfied with it, but it's alright and I did the best I could.

This last one is very obviously similar to the second. I was thinking that it would be cool to use a different picture of Misa Campo and be able to get some better blending going on there. I'm more satisfied with this version then the first it turn out quite good and even fits a little better. I also did the cool effect of altering the color of her sweatband and earrings. Originally they were bright pink, but to fit with the color scheme I changed them to lime green. I'm definitely happy with how that turned out!

Time for a random.... Uhhh.... Well let's just call it "a random" I guess.

I shall begin my random. First, things are strangely different.... I don't know what it is. A slight difference. It leaves me craving more, more and even more. Maybe my perceptions are completely off though. I could be wrong about what I'm feeling and who I'm feeling it from. I want to say that I've gotten flows from people I didn't expect it from, however I'm still in wonder if these flows were true or accurate.

One of them I'm very interested in pursuing, I just am not sure if it will really pan out into anything. I guess I should try, but I don't desire to put effort into something and then find out it is nothing at all. I've done that before, it was a waste. I don't intend to make that mistake again.

Also different is the fact that these flows are from a source I didn't expect. I'm stuck in a quandary. I want to wait it out, but at the same time, actions are more productive. However when following through with those actions are hindered by lack of time and lack of funds, it certainly doesn't help the situation.

Recently a good friend, left my life so to speak. It was a little devastating. Best way I can put it is that, she found a better job opportunity and pursued it. Thus taking her far away. I no longer have a means of communication with her. Not going to explain that, has nothing to do with me. Needless to say, I had... Maybe, have, feelings for her. Now she is gone. It still hurts a bit. Nothing I can do there.

Of course, with all this going on, I still have the constant and never ending feeling towards that one. Those feelings that I can't let go of or maybe can't get rid of. I don't know which, I just know that the feelings I have for her are real and ever so hard to remove.

To sum it all up in one sentence:

"I like these other women, but I love her."

I don't know if that will stay true, but it is true for now. I can only hope that things change for me and her and that things align, or that I make things go right with someone else, which will take my mind off of her. I have my choices, the right one is going to be difficult to make and even worse if it's wrong.

I honestly don't know what I want other then, the one I was meant for, whoever that may be.

At this point, I need one thing, and that would be; to experience a part of life that I know so much about, yet have no personal reality with.

I aim to soon find out.

Slow Burn.

2011-04-27T14:27:00.000-07:00

Didn't quite achieve the look I was going for, but the resulting product is kind of interesting. So it's not a bad thing at all. In a way, the phrase "slow burn" describes the character that is "Frank Woods" in Call of Duty Black Ops. As you see the character progress he goes from cocky to full on anger or hatred, almost like a natural transition. Whether it be the loss of fellow soldiers in hopelessly difficult battles, or the loss of a good friend who was brutally murdered in front of him by their captors, he has much to be angry about. The way that you see him go out in the end gives me the idea that he had finally hit a breaking point and no longer gave a shit, especially to save the life of a fellow soldier and friend. He had nothing else to live for so he gave up everything for someone else. I like this character, because he has many good qualities and he sets himself apart from the standard run of the mill soldier characters in games.

To create this took a lot of experimentation. It didn't end up how I envisioned, but the end product was interesting anyway. Lots of layers, filters, gradients, smudging and general randomness were my technique.

Some people react strangely to certain things. I see two sides, the people that brush it off, aren't concerned about it and the people that are surprised, won't get over it. This sort of behavior confuses me to know bounds; when something isn't that big of a deal in my mind and other people can't seem to get over the fact. When I never thought they would have given a shit. So I don't understand at all what they are thinking or why they are reacting so strangely. I hold zero importance in their life, but suddenly some little thing I do is a big deal. I'm sure that I do something similar on certain subjects, but not irrationally like that. Worst part is that it is for something so trivial. It's almost like the concern is fake because they couldn't be bothered to have any concern for anything else that I do. I don't care, it does however piss me off, because I don't understand, and that is more then half the battle. Slow burn is a good phrase to describe how I feel about everything right now. Nothing is bad necessarily, but I hate it. I just kind of hate everything. There are certain people who really grind my nerves and I'm sick of that shit. I don't want anything to do with them. Unfortunately there isn't anything I can do to get away from them, it is what it is. So all I can do is make my hatred for them quite apparent. I don't hate people, that isn't something I do, but right now it's all I can think about.

This hatred is the only emotion I can use to smother my overwhelming feeling of love and desire to be with certain people. It's painful having to deal with them as it is. Since I can't run away, this is my solution, a messed up one, but the only one I have.

I need something to distract me from these people and my thoughts, but I don't know what. Maybe someone else? I won't kid myself though, I'll never find that.

Immortal.

2011-04-15T02:52:00.000-07:00

With the forthcoming release of the new Mortal Kombat game on April 19th (a few days away!!!), I felt it appropriate to continue my MK series of wallpapers. This next one is the God of Thunder himself, Raiden. I can't say I'm a big fan of this character, but he really does have some bad ass moments. I felt he projects a very mysterious mystical sort of feeling. There isn't much we know about the character. He's a god, he lives eternally, that much we know for sure. What are his motives? How far will he go? What is he trying to achieve? And just how powerful is he really? Again there is so much that is unknown. I really like how he is often seen with lightning coursing up and down is body and how is martial arts style is often mixed with lightning attacks. He has a bit of a chinese Zeus feel, you could say. No lightning javelins here though. It's kind of like the power of lightning is not so much a power, but a part of him. As he is a god, that would make sense.

As for the wallpaper, I'm trying something new, a sort of style I've never done before, mixed with my smudge brushing that I like. It actually took me a lot of layers of gradients and color alone to get the right feel. Honestly I didn't like this wallpaper at all until I turned it into what it is. It is for the most part by accident that I got this awesome color scheme. Not really the colors I would have chosen for a character who deals with lightning and electricity, but It just looks sick as hell, so I don't really care. Not gonna go in much detail with the creation, but filters, smudging, gradients and a whole shit load of randomness, were my friend in this creation.

On another note... There is a certain point that I run into, where I can only handle so much of something that is just bullshit to begin with. Well I hit my limit with it, and it seems liberating to be rid of it. No longer having to see reminders of things that I do not want to remember. However I still have to deal with that bullshit almost everyday, so having less of it is nice. I really hope things start to change for the better, because right now, I just feel like everything is kind of fucked. I'm honestly not happy, and that's not fun. There are few things that make me happy, and it seems like I can't have the ones I want most.

When life gives you lemons, make chocolate cupcakes.

Heartless.

2011-03-06T11:44:00.000-08:00

This kinda came at me from nowhere. I had the idea of using this picture of a British SAS character from Call of Duty 4, it was all a matter of figuring out how. I began by placing and sizing the character, but after that I hid that layer for the majority of the process. Similar to my style as of late, I have used a bunch of gradients and smudge brushing. However I decided to make this a (for the most part) two-tone image. It's more like three-tone, but that isn't really the point. Once I had a good background going I had to work on implementing the character. Nothing a bit of brushing and some filters couldn't handle. Then I had to decide on the alternate color. I was actually thinking of going with blue, but I wasn't really feelin' it. Then red popped into my mind as the perfect choice. Red and black is a favorite color combination of mine. It worked surprisingly well. I really had to restrain myself on the use of it though. Still unsure if I have overused it or not, but I think I got the right amount of emphasis without being gaudy. This is very similar to the Assassin's Creed wallpaper I did around two years ago, similar color scheme, but this one has a much more cohesive flow. It doesn't feel slapped together like that one did. I really tried to use a bunch of filters, some patterns and other such elements to bring to together so that it felt like it was meant to be as it is. Just for fun and a little bit of interest, I added the bars at the top, I could have handled them different, but they don't both me. Also, the very dark and hidden skull with wings and sword is similar, yet different then the real SAS symbol, and looks way cooler. I was also impressed with how the SAS text turned out, I was truthfully going for another look when I stumbled upon what I have there. I knew I wanted it to be grungy text, but getting that appearance wasn't easy without making it overkill, so I kept it light. Then I started playing around with the styles, that's what really set it off and made it look good. I am was honestly surprised that this whole wallpaper come together fairly quickly. I guess I'm getting decent with this style... Must be time to branch out and try something totally new.

Here's more of my random thoughts that form in to ranting.
This is what I do, I hurt people. I push them away. I cause them to lash out at me. I make them hate me. It causes me to be angry and yet, sad. I don't really know how to handle situations like this, especially when it is done to someone I love. I'm not sure it hurts them as much as it hurts me, that I hurt them. All I know is it is very painful and it makes me want to give up. I feel so often that I want to give up, not have to deal with this bullshit of life any more. I just don't have a purpose that drives me to survive, except for her or whatever female has taken over my mind. That's all it is, I hardly ever have any moments in my life where I really feel good. I don't feel good about anything I've done really, or rather there are only a few things that weren't total mistakes. Typing this doesn't even make me feel better about it. I just feel fucking terrible right now and all these people are probably wondering why I'm such an asshole. To prove the point, I have a couple people I can call friends, the rest are just people I know or have met. Sometimes I convince myself that other people don't care or aren't nice people. Then I look at myself and realize that it is all me, they never did anything until I pushed them and caused them to be that way in my mind. Who knew that the heartless one was myself all along...
I can't believe I hurt her the way I do... It is no wonder that she would never want to be with me, I'm surprised she would want to be "friends" at all. I can't stand this friends thing, I don't want it. If I can't be with her I don't even want to be near her. I think women like to be "friends" because they feel sorry for you or something after rejecting you with the "just friends" line, some sort of pity bullshit. They try and be nice and helpful and concerned... But it isn't real. What they really want is for you to see that they don't want to be with you so they put on this "friend" sort of thing, where they feel like they are close to you, but if you try and get closer then that, there is this invisible force field of emotions that they put up to block you. Suddenly they stop caring and want nothing to do with you. When all you want is to care about them, because you truly do.
None of this would happen this way if I didn't get people to hate me. It isn't what I want, I grow to love somebody and yet I manage to fuck it up every time. Generally, once I screw that up, I pretty much never talk to that person ever again. This is the number one mistake I made with this girl, I have to see her all the time, not by choice, so it brings back my emotions for her. Most other girls I've had interest in, I chose to no longer talk with, and only once in a very great while, talk to. In fact it is so rare that there is basically no friendship (some are delusional and think it still exists though) there at all. When I decide to sever ties, I really do. Those bridges I burn, are as good as non-existent. This one that I didn't burn, has given me so much pain and heartache, I can't stand it, because I really truly do care about her and yet there is nothing I can possibly do to be with her.

I feel like my rants are getting lengthier.

On To The Next One.

2011-02-28T00:37:00.000-08:00

Unlike the recent rumors of snow in the bay area, (which instead of snowing, were the first sunny days in a while) Sub-Zero actually delivers on the frostbite with his mastery of all things frozen. I knew it wouldn't snow in the bay area, that was bull shit, as I predicted. Anyway, on to the show.
This one took a lot of scrutinizing before I got it just right. Lots of layers of brushing, smudging, gradients and filters. Honestly that is about all, except I went extra fancy on the "sub-zero" text to give it a frozen over look. I would say the hardest part I ran into was getting the colors to a level of being, not too much of any specific color other then the blue. However I still wanted it to retain some flair with multiple colors. My goal was to not take away the feeling of cold, ice, freezing or whatever you want to call it. I don't know how to explain it, but it turned out quite more bad ass then I expected.

Mega Rant: Engage.
What the fuck is wrong with people? Why do they do these things that really don't help them in anyway? Why do they make decisions that have no positive impact on their survival? What the fuck is the point? Some people make the stupidest decisions and they don't even realize how wrong it was. When I have to or want to do something, I think that shit through and make sure it is the most amount of survival possible and benefits me, as well as making sure it goes right and something doesn't get messed up in the process. Some people don't do a 100th of the thinking I do. Is this just proof that I'm smarter than the average or does it mean I'm a goddamn wimp? I don't know, but this is bullshit. I fucking try so hard, for nothing, and every single time I'm left thinking to myself, "why do I bother?" Seriously, it is the same exact thing every time. I get hurt every time. They just don't see, I swear to god people are so blind, they can't see shit right in front of them. Then they suddenly out of no where "give a shit" and it is total bogus, you can just tell that all they care about is whether you do what they say. They want to be friends, fuck that, they don't even know what real friends are like. I know who my true friends are, and it isn't them. My true friends look out for me, they got my back, they will support me by any means necessary and I will return that 110%, that is what true friends are. These people who want to be friends have so many of these "friends" that you end up just being another pawn in their life. I say "fuck you" to those people that enforce their fucking fake friendship bullshit on me. I don't want it, get out of my life. Just like this wallpaper I did, these people are cold, uncaring and fucking heartless.

Forever Unknown.

2011-02-20T00:23:00.000-08:00

Scorpion. The subject of this picture. A character from the fighting game Mortal Kombat (yes with a K for those who don't know). However this is not why I started making this picture or what I based it off of. I did something different with this image, it went better then I would have thought. Totally reversed my operating basis. Basically I started making the background image before I had the theme or concept or subject chosen. I've never really done it that way before. Once I had an interesting background that I liked, it kind of looked exactly like a volcano, it was only a matter of figuring out what else I wanted to do with it. I was playing Mortal Kombat recently which inspired me to pick from my favorite characters in that series of games. One of my favorite bad ass ninja characters would be Scorpion. I was also tempted to use Sub-Zero, but I was feeling that the look and feel of this image wasn't geared towards the light and blue tones that are of Sub-Zero's character. So I went with Scorpion as I recalled some images that I had used or seen a few years ago which were what I was looking for in this wallpaper. I chose between two and this is the one that I felt fit the best. He is also more fire oriented with gold, yellow, red, and orange color themes, generally speaking. As I said earlier, the background looked like a volcano, so he definitely fit well with the background color theme that was going on. From there on it was the process of adding depth and interest to the image. I did a lot of smudge brushing with this image, using a stock brush, I created my own to use. It works great for chaotic smudging! Then I worked on getting the contrast of the image, lights and darks, to a good level of balance. I also played a lot with the various colors through the use of gradients and giving it interesting colors without drowning it entirely. Then at that point I honestly couldn't figure out what to do next, so I thought of the three horizontal bars and worked with those, as well as doing the text. The MK dragon logo was an obvious addition. Even though I did Japanese text in the last wallpaper, I felt that it fit this one rather well, due to Scorpion being a ninja and all. For the most part, that brought it all together, there were only a few little tweaks I added after that. Once I got to the point of feeling it was final, I kept looking at it, wondering if there was something else that could be done to it. I feel there could be more done to it and yet, there is nothing that I was able to figure out in terms of additions or modifications to it. So this is the final product, I'm actually quite pleased with it, as it is definitely the best work I have done in a long time!

Time for thoughts that go through my head... How can one care about another so much, and yet the other doesn't care at all. It is like putting all this effort into something and it turns out to be a complete waste of time. I don't like my time wasted or my emotions being fucked with. "Just friends" she says. Well it is a little hard for me to be said "friends" when I care about her as much as I do. It is a strange thing, I honestly am not sure why I do care so much, but I do. Sometimes I think I just want to tell her, so it's out there, and I don't have to continue to bottle it up inside. However at the same time, I almost feel that will ruin any bit of the connection we have and I don't know how I would handle that. She even wants me to go to parties or whatever and hang out with her and others, but of course because we are "friends"... I'm not going to go somewhere so that I can pretend I'm there for any other reason then the truth, which is because of her and to be with her. It is also difficult and pointless when they have someone, someone she shouldn't be with, and who doesn't deserve her in anyway, but what am I going to do about that? This leaves a question I have no answer to. How come when I lock eye contact, in that split second everything around me doesn't exist, it's just me and her and the emotions that I feel for her. Literally, I feel that I get lost in her gaze, and her eyes are just the most amazing thing I have ever seen. It is almost overwhelming at times, this emotion that I feel, and in a way can't control. Another question would be, why is she the only thing that goes through my mind? I find it difficult to think about anything else. That is how much of an effect she has on me and my mental state. The fucking "L" word...

These are things that go through my mind a lot. I feel as if I am stuck, and lost, all at the same time! I've never written this much about how I feel on that subject before. I don't know if it is worth it. I can't even imagine what she would think if she read it (or anyone else for that matter!) I enjoy writing though, and sometimes I have as much desire to write as I do to use Photoshop. Quick side note, the title of this entry is the name of another song I started writing.

Myself As The Enemy.

2011-02-16T18:35:00.000-08:00

I made this piece for someone. I was feeling inspired to inspire, if that makes any sense. It was strange and well timed, I was feeling a desire to make something in photoshop, as it had been some time since I had done so. This person I mentioned was not feeling inspired to go car shopping and was concerned with the logistics of it all. So I figured I might as well inspire them into at least looking at more of the vehicles they wanted. The "vehicles" in this case would be a VW GTI. A small, sporty, rocket of a car and the one that they desired the most. So I felt like giving inspiration, and that inspired me to make something in photoshop. So I hit up google for some bad ass pictures of tuned, modified and tricked-out GTI's. I found the one in this picture, I liked the angle, and the visible speed of the vehicle. It was also a version I had never heard of, an R-GTI, needless to say, it qualified as completely bad ass! So I used it. Not as easy as I was hoping. I tried to get that feel of speed and verticality that I had in the wallpaper with the Mitsubishi Evo. I didn't quite hit that mark, but I was close. It took me a quite a while to put it together, due to all my nit-picking, be it with the colors or the look, I was unhappy with it up until I finalized it. I didn't actually do much with it, just a lot of repetition to get things just right. I recall doing a lot of layers of just coloring, throughout the process of forming the image. It mostly consists of those color layers, an image of city lights, an image of a street and side of the road lights, as well as some layers of smudge brushing to give some texture. The text also took a bit to get the look I wanted, I'm not entirely sure it's the way I want it, but I was happy enough with it. Towards the end of the project, I felt it was lacking so I added the Japanese text, yes I realize VW is European, but I like the look of Japanese characters better. It added a lot of flare to the image, and gave the vibe I was looking for. Similar to the Evo wallpaper, the middle of the night, drifting down a mountain side sort of look. No fears, no worries, you, the car, the road and the adrenaline pumping through your veins from the g-forces you feel through your body. That is the feeling I was going for, whether I achieved that, well I hope so.

I recently felt inspired in another way as well. I wrote some lyrics, to what could be a rap or hip hop song of some sort. I don't think I'm ready to share them though. If you look at the title of this post you will see the name of the song. It is definitely not happy and it is very personal as well. It shares a lot of feelings that I experience and rather regularly too, nothing positive to say the least. Similar to my blog, I just felt like getting my thoughts out into some sort of art form, that is what I do, whether it be with photoshop or with writing lyrics or in this case my blog. There is a certain amount of relief to be had by communicating through an art form. More on this topic later, I'm sure.

I thought this year would be so much better, I'm only 2 months in and it already sucks. There is other things I could rant about, but what is the point?

Symphonies Of Blinding Light.

2010-10-06T01:21:00.000-07:00

I quite literally created this a few days after my previous one, but I have been so busy and I didn't know what to write, that I didn't post it. Even now, I hardly have any idea as to what I should say. I always have some much stuff on my mind that I want to say. Sometimes I wonder, "what the fuck is the point?" because truthfully, writing something down, isn't going to change the situation, it will just get what I think, on something more then my mind, like a blog or if I'm feeling old school, then that thing called paper, which I'm very slow at writing on, unlike typing.

Strangely that title kind of goes with the theme of this one. Actually, it's not so much a theme as I much as it is, "I did random shit." Tried to get something similar to the previous one; didn't quite turn out. I still enjoy it as something different, but I don't enjoy it as much as the last one I made.

I have had this post saved as a draft since days after my previous post last year, and now that it has turned 2011, something is driving me to finally post this.I hope this year is better then the last, I having been hoping that every year though and so far it hasn't quite come to fruition.

Welcome to 2011 a year that will be filled with dreams, hopes, goals and achievements.

Student Of The Game That They Taught Me.

2010-10-06T00:24:00.000-07:00

Thinks are changing, quickly. Or so it seems to me. Maybe I just can't handle things actually going quickly, so this seems quick to me. Well anyway, finally got a job. I'm happy, I made one more thing in my life go right. Now there is still a few other things that I am not happy with. It's obvious after my last entry, as to. of what I speak. It feels literally like an emptiness, like there is something missing from within me. When I have felt that feeling of pure joy, or of true unconditional love, then void inside me is filled. Now I need to find someone to fill that gap that I carry around. That thing that holds me back the most from truly being happy. I've read articles on that shit, but none of it matters when I can't find that person that I'm hoping to find. Or at least in my mind, already found that person. This isn't about that person though. It's about finding someone new. I believe that, for this situation, that is the only solution, not necessarily the one I want, but I suppose it will have to do. I never used to feel this emptiness inside me. Then I started to experience the joys of hanging out and being friends with females. Now this thing lingers with me at all times. It really does suck, it at times seems painful, but I know that is just a state of mind. It is rather disappointing when two people have told you to get over that person and move on, both equaling about fifty times in all that I have had to hear that. Not very encouraging... I am not the social butterfly,so to speak, that I once was. I feel that this is true but I'm sure some others would disagree. This is a difficult subject for me, and difficult time regarding it. I know what I need but I can not seem to obtain the thing I want most in my life, that is how I feel about it, and probably always will feel on the subject, unless something changes quickly and/or drastically. I've been told that I'm too gloomy, too depressed, and whatever else. As far as I can see, it all extends from this one problem and anything else just adds an extra layer, but it is the main thing for me.

I created another new wallpaper, this one I am happy with. It is also something completely different. I have done wallpapers before, but not like this one. I'm surprised that even after not having done photoshop in so long, that I was able to pull out some decent results. I struggled for ideas at times, but in the same light it reminded me of all the things that I used to do that created effects I enjoy. I would honestly say, the only thing that I'm not too fond of, is the text. It's rather bland, but again, working with very little here in the way of resources. It would seem to me, that I need to keep doing more and more, to fire up my creative imagination. I used to do some neat things with text, I don't recall all of the great ideas that I had, or in some cases, how to even implement them. I believe, in a way, that I'm back to basics, so to speak. Anyway, I enjoy a lot about this new wallpaper, it really does have a lot of character in it, lots of colors and motion going on, but not to the point that it is too busy, it's just enough. Also I threw in a character, I don't believe from anything particular. She is drawn by the insanely talented Masamune Shirow, one of his many drawing of manga characters. I find it funny that I originally cut out the image of this character a long time ago, probably two plus years ago when I had my desktop. I never once used this cut-out image in anything! I think that I tried, but never successfully created anything that I liked. Well, many years later, I have finally done it!

Swimming In The Smoke Of Bridges I Have Burned.

2010-09-25T10:52:00.000-07:00

Strange how things go. This is my first post of 2010. I have not posted for 2+ years.... All because my computer died those 2 years ago. Try as I might I was not able to fix it. Things feel so much different compared to then. I find it amusing that in my last post I was talking about Assassin's Creed, I have since played it on PC, as well as played and beaten it on Xbox 360. I don't know if I had a 360 back then. Anyway, it is a phenomenal game, I have purchased the sequel but haven't played it yet as it is being borrowed. As far as the years go '09 and '10 have not been that good. They have had their good and bad moments but honestly I can't say that anything particularly stands out for me. What I do know is that, things have drastically changed. I know that some of the changes I do agree on, and some not so much. Certainly though this year has been full of surprises, but again, some are good and some are not so good. It is interesting seeing everything that goes on in ones life, you realize things that you may not have looked at before. I would say that, my emotions have really gone to all ends of the spectrum, so to speak, more so then ever before. I've felt things that, I would like to re-experience and some things that I never want to feel ever again. As an example, when you care for someone as much as I did, and really put everything you have into being closer with this person, amplifying the amount that the person enjoys your presence, only to find out that none of it mattered anyway... It is a little disheartening, to say the least. It makes me observe that the saying "nice guys finish last" is absolutely 100% true. I don't believe that I will ever truly "get over" this person, she was the first person I ever had these feelings for, and yet it was only ever friendship that we had. It is also difficult to deal with these feelings when I have to see the person often, and not by choice. Honestly, it's a tough situation for me to look at. I need to move on and experience life fully. There is one thing I have noticed in my life, when dealing with, objects, properties, devices or whatever, I have a fairly easy time, when I want some kind of object, no matter what it is, I am able to get it, somehow or overtime, but it will be done. However, when dealing with people, relationships, emotions, friends, family, etc. I fail, unfortunate truth, maybe I will be better one day, but until then, this is what I have to deal with.

Now that I have said all that emo stuff... This wallpaper is a bunch of things, a screenshot from Midnight Club: Los Angeles (one of the best racing games I've ever played) and a few simple effects, as well as the logo. I haven't used photoshop in so long that this is something simple that I decided to start with. I did in fact design this awesome '69 Mustang Boss 302 in-game. Definitely one of the most bad ass muscle cars I've seen, it's classic. As well this wallpaper is in the resolution of my monitor, which is to say that, yes, I did get a new computer, but it is a laptop and not a desktop like before, and obviously I use widescreen resolutions compared to the resolution of my previous wallpapers. That's all for now, I hope to start updating more often, with less year long breaks in between!

Only One Road Left.

2008-04-03T23:42:00.000-07:00

Well this is my first blog entry of 2008, monumental I'm sure... Suffice it to say, my last entry was correct, my roll wouldn't last. I haven't done photoshop work since then. There has been a serious lack of inspiration, sad really, I love to create, but sometimes I just get bored, even before I have started, it will set in and I will go off and do something else. That sort of thing happens to me all the time, it's rather odd.
So much has happened since my last entry. Equally good and bad alike. The first few months of '08 have been a bit of hell and back, I can say for sure that some things will never be the same. It's pretty much like, for all the good, there are equal or more, amounts of bad happenings. I can only hope that the year gets better, because right now, it is making the previous year seem easy. In all honesty, I think some of my emotions have already been strained more then any other year so far. There are things that really need to change if I am to be able to get to where I want to be. There are some things that I lack, while other things I need to get rid of. I know I'm speaking in generalities here, but, truthfully I don't even know what all I need to do. All I know is that right now, I am not where or what I want to be. It's sort of like, I have the ability for these things, but I'm not able to access that ability right now, which seriously detriments me from going any further. I don't know, I really truly just don't know. Life is full of questions, I doubt all of them will ever get answered. I kind of wish the answer to life, the universe and everything was as simple as 42, but it's not...

I really don't have much to say about the wallpaper. It's from a game called Assassin's Creed as you can tell. I've never played it, but I might pick it up when it comes out for PC. The basic premise is that you play a medieval assassin, Altair, who has to do what they do best and assassinate 9 figures of prominence, some sort of leaders, I'm not sure exactly. Anyway it looks really cool and I think the main character, Altair, is bad ass looking, so I thought I would make a wallpaper of the game. Truly this wallpaper is very simple, some filters, some messing with layers, and some 3d renders, really not much, mostly it was tinkering. As for the color, I felt like something subtle, I almost went all black and white, but I felt a little color would give that extra punch, however I didn't want it overdone or gloppy so I only put one color, I'm not sure what it is about the black and white + one color style, but at times it can look so much better then an array of colors, and just packs so much more of a punch, if done correctly.

Apex Glide.

2007-12-08T23:20:00.000-08:00

Another post in less then a month?! Blasphemy, I must clearly be on a roll, which most likely will not last, but that is just a prediction. On to the show! Now this fine piece of engineer-crafted vehicular machinery is a 2006-07 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution MR Edition. If you are up on the "lingo" then you already know that most people call it an EVO, for short. Whatever you prefer to call it, doesn't matter. It is extremely popular, and for good reason, it is known for being an absolute power house of a driving machine and a very smooth ride for as much power as it has. Its rival the Subaru WRX STi is very close however, and it is more opinion then actual specs that it would come down to in the end, as far as which is better. In a duel it would most likely come down to who was the better driver. Me, personally, I favor the EVO because I'm a Mitsubishi fan, I own a '99 Eclipse Spyder GS and love it to death, so of course I'm going to favor them as a company. I hope to someday own a Lancer Evolution (preferably the newest Evo X), but that is a long way off at the moment.
Crap-tacular, I've already written this much and I havn't gotten to talking about the actual wallpaper, yet... Well basically, it is a bit of smudging, some gradients, a bit of rendered clouds, some text, the Mitsubishi logo, a stock picture of a road and one of the car and there you go, that is everything I used to make this. Mind you it wasn't as easy as it sounds but the process is simple,and mostly took a bit of a designing mindset to make it just right. The picture of the car actually came from a box cover of a game called Need For Speed: Carbon and the street/road stock came from a picture off the website of Need For Speed: ProStreet (the newest NFS game in the series.) I didn't think I would be able to finish this piece off so well, it was kind of tough at first, especially trying to figure out what kind of direction I wanted to go with for the design, but it came together nicely. I'm definitely happy with how it turned out, there are a few things I could maybe tweak, but honestly they aren't important enough for me to care. Those things certainly don't make or break the piece in any way, as far as I'm concerned. I really enjoyed putting this wallpaper together and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Everything Will Be Alright.

2007-12-05T21:43:00.000-08:00

I made this from a picture off of a magazine cover. And the rest is history, as they say. For those who can't tell this is art made for the video game Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, I'm really fond of this game and have been playing it quite a lot lately. I decided to take the picture and mess around with the coloring in photoshop, I didn't want anything drastic and couldn't really think of anything particularly drastic but good looking to do to it. so i did a bit of coloring smudging and added the Call of Duty 4 and Modern Warfare text which I found through my friend google. It is kind of too bright for a Call of Duty game since they are generally dark and dreary in atmosphere, (well it is a war game after all) but I wanted to do something different, I'm not all that satisfied with it, but I can't really think of anything else to do with it at the moment. I might try and tackle it later and come up with something a bit more interesting. However, this is how it's going to be for now.

Shit, I havn't written a blog or even opened photoshop since October, a whole month! Time flies, so much to do so little time. I will try and get into this stuff more, the inspiration can be tough to come by when trying to work in photoshop.

Rhymes With Vulcan.

2007-10-14T23:38:00.001-07:00

Three Sony PSP (Playstation Portable) wallpapers that I made for a buddy of mine, the concepts were his idea, while the actual work was all mine, with a little of his input. They are kind of weird and strange and random, but he liked them, and it's what he wanted, so that's all that really mattered. Personally I think the first one sucks, the second one kicks ass, and the third is decent. "Chaos" indeed... That alone sums up all three of them. And yes, I do like to use splatters.

Fa Kin Su Pah.

2007-10-07T23:39:00.001-07:00

Dragonball Z rocks. That's not the point, but it does. Goku (the character of which this wallpaper focuses on) does however look ready to punch some fools out. Awesome. For this wallpaper I took an image and went crazy with filters to create the background, I then did some brushing and filtered it. After that I placed Goku and then started tweaking the colors and contrast along with brightness. Many layers of color later I had a finalized piece. Add a bad ass sounding phrase and it's done. Simple? Maybe. I have to admit, though, it is the only good Dragonball Z wallpaper I've ever made, it's hard enough making a good looking forum signature or tag (whatever you want to call them) with characters from it. Fortunately this turned out excellent, and I'm quite happy with it. It's not particularly complex or anything, but it just looks nice. Bright and colorful with a sprinkle of abstract. A lot of times it's hard to match a background or blend an anime character into a background. I was fortunate that this was not the case here. By pulling colors from the background, out and making them more vibrant, I was able to get a little bit of a cartoon feel, while still keeping the abstract style. Similarly, Goku stands out, not too much, but enough that he is highlighted as the focal point.

The title for this blog entry is Chinese for "great."

Breaking The Chains Of Normality.

2007-10-07T23:20:00.001-07:00

Different is the word of choice here. This is definitely nothing like the last pieces I've posted up. In a nut shell, all I did was take an image I made before then add a crap load of filters and color layers, rinse and repeat. Add a cool name and voila an instant masterpiece. Alright so it's not that easy, and I'm still not really satisfied with this wallpaper, it is different and that's what I was going for. I added the tribal tattoo which I found via google, to add a bit of contrast, brighten things up and act as a adjoining point of the black and the artistic mess. Other then that it really serves no more purpose, then to look cool. There is truly no style or look or feel, or for that matter anything that I was going for. The one single thing that I wanted, was for it to look different, I accomplished that, and so I'm happy. I think it does need more work and it doesn't feel finished to me, but I don't plan on altering it or working on it anymore. This work showed me that I am able to make something that is drastically different from the norm. It's nice to know that I'm not stuck in typical artistic boundaries.

Happy Feet-ality.

2007-10-07T22:08:00.000-07:00

If you don't know what this is, chances are you don't play video games. Not much to say about this wallpaper really. It's pretty basic. Filters, brushes, coloring, images. Mostly I wanted to get a icy glacier feel or "damn it's cold!" While Sub-Zero gives and icy cold stare through the Mortal Kombat logo, which seems to exude an "it's on" or "it's goin' down!" or even "I'm gonna kick your ass to the antarctic circle! You'll be sleeping with the penguins!" Any other similar remark may follow. To sum it all up I wanted to make it look as if Sub-Zero was up to something or just looking bad ass, which he does. I also really like the Mortal Kombat logo, so I added that in and it works really well, plus it is a nice focal point.

Havok.

2007-10-07T21:08:00.001-07:00

This is based off of the PC game STALKER: Shadow Of Chernobyl. It is a mix of a lot of things as you can tell. Very hectic, very chaotic, mind-boggling, whatever you want to call it, anything but orderly, that's what it is. Disorder. The thing I was trying to show most in this, was the past, present and future of Chernobyl all in one. Also the toxicity, radioactivity and overall lethality of the place. The numbers and technical looking stuff kind of represents the precision and expertise that is needed to control and keep that stuff under-wraps, giving you the idea that it requires serious skill or else on little mistake could make that your last. The atomic blast represents the explosion of the radiation plant and what can happen if a tiny mistake is made, while the various color streaks and such represents the radiation that was loosed upon the surrounding area, changing it forever. The guy holding the AKS-74U is from the game and is, what's known as a STALKER. To me he represents how things can change, for the worst, civilization can get ruined because of endless wars, turning the world to genocide and life as we know it could disappear forever. Man vs. himself. Yeah, that sounds really bleak, but he's not just there for show and tell, now is he? Oh, and it's just a picture! Sheesh...

Havok is the Middle English version of havoc. It looks cooler spelled with a K, haha.

Dire Flames.

2007-10-07T18:58:00.001-07:00

Another comic book inspired wallpaper. Well... Sort of... I actually made this shortly after seeing the recent Ghost Rider movie. Which was OK at the most... Problem with it was that while it had good actors, the scripting wasn't so good. It's kind of like, it had well known actors and somehow that was supposed to make it good, and while they tried, they still couldn't avoid the fact that the scripting and plot just sucked all together. Maybe I'm just ranting, but who cares, it's a blog that's what they are for. Back on topic, this is also one of my best wallpapers. There is not much to it but I really like what I did. I used a lot of filters to obtain a firey burning look, along with many color layers. Then I added a crumpled up piece of paper texture over the top to give it that extra textured look that I wanted. I went for unique with the text so I added that fire design above it. The black borders are also unique because I cut out the letter on the angular part and have the filtered part of the letter behind it and sticking out, along with fading black lines to give it a different but cool touch. I really like it, definitely one of the most unique things I've ever made. I don't really know what else to say about it, it's just different.

Ainigmatikos.

2007-10-07T15:51:00.001-07:00

This is one of my best works of art that I've ever done. When I made this I kind of broke out of a shell of stereotypical styles. I think that it is my best piece. It's simple yes, but magical, maybe even elegant, I don't really know. What I do know is that I love it and it is my pride and joy of all the things I've made. I tried to give it the most magical feeling I could. the background is what I started with and I wanted to turn that into a pattern so I flipped it and rotated it many times to get a nice pattern. Then I colored it, I wanted mystical sort of colors so then I went with blue on the left and green on the right, while they are both centered with an orange almost gold color. Then to add to the magical feel, I added the female model, and put the huge splash of smoky white. Last I put those swirling curvy lines which add a magical elegance along with little white dots that follow the lines for a mythical fairy dust type thing. For fun I added the thick black bars on the top and bottom, to act as borders, kind of giving it a cinematic feel. Lastly, to top it off I added a title to it, "MAGIC IMAGINATION" because it is magical looking and makes you think of all sorts of situations or things that could be going on in a fantasy world or setting. With the lady's hair flying up like it is, it almost looks as if some sort of magical enchantment or spell is being cast or something like that. Also the smoky white covering her, almost enveloping her, makes you wonder what kind of sorcery or wizardry is going on. The entire image is a bit hard to describe because it could be anything you can possibly imagine and thus the reason why I gave it the title of "MAGIC IMAGINATION".

Oh, and the title of this blog entry is Greek for "enigmatic" or "enigmatical."

New Beginnings.

2007-10-07T12:37:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite wallpapers I've made. It is by far the best photo manipulation piece I've ever done. To obtain this look I used about 4-5 different pictures, many coloring layers and a ton of filters. I forget how long it took me to put it together but I took my time in melding it all together so that it all looked like one cohesive image. I had to use a lot of filters to blend it all together, and not just that, but also for the fact that I had to scale up the image of batman which was quite a bit smaller, and as such it distorted and blurred quite a bit. You can still tell that it is a bit blurry but the rest of it blends right in due to the filters and that is the effect I was going for. I also tried to get an "in a cave" sort of appearance, which worked out quite well, with the dreary colors and large spaces of blackness and definitely has a "from the depths" look to it which I really like. It is based off of the most recent batman movie, Batman Begins. A really great movie, I was skeptical but it turned out to be a really awesome flick. I hated the change in bat mobiles to the tumbler, well it turned out to be pretty bad ass, but I still hate how it looks. Also, while it is based off of the movie, I went for more of a comic book style, in fact, some of the images used were from a comic book version of batman, however it still retains that movie look of the posters and advertisement imagery which I wanted.

And for those who don't know a sequel to the hit Batman Begins, is currently being worked on known as Batman: The Dark Knight or just The Dark Knight, I'm not sure which. The release date is set for July 18, 2008. It looks to be an even darker film then the last, bringing new villains such as The Joker and Two Face along with a new updated bat suit (and most likely some new gadgets to go along with it) and a new motorcycle type vehicle, which I will dub the "bat cycle." That, from what I've read, comes off of or out of the tumbler. To top it all off, the creators even plan to do a third movie, making it a "threequel" as some call it.

Sometimes I'm In Disbelief, I Didn't Know.

2007-10-06T21:33:00.000-07:00

I don't really recall when I made this. All I remember is I made a forum signature or tag (whatever you want to call it) with a similar look, I liked it so much that I decided to make a wallpaper that looked close to it as I could get. I probably could have gotten closer but I was happy with this result as it was similar but unique at the same time. Not sure what style (if any) that I went for with this, but it's sort of abstract and grunge, something like that anyway. This is the singer of Linkin Park, Chester Bennington. He does the main vocals. He is an amazing singer because he can do really nice, even beautiful sounding soft singing and yet he can go all the way into screaming or hard-edged vocals that make you want to rock out, quite a contrast I do say. Chester's vocals combined with Mike Shinoda's rapping create one of the best duos in music. It's odd how two very different singing styles could meld so well. They make Linkin Park what it is, a mix of rap and rock. A style collaboration if you will, and so I dedicated this to the hard-edged/screaming vocal side of Linkin Park. It's almost as if the soft red is the beginning of a song that slowly reaches the screaming blue climax where shards are shattering everywhere and splatters explode into the foreground as the vocals reach soaring new heights. This piece makes me think of the song Don't Stay, on Linkin Park's Meteora album. I'll end this entry on that note.

The Revolution.

2007-10-06T19:45:00.000-07:00

While I was impatiently awaiting the arrival of the Projekt Revolution 2007 tour to my home town, I became inspired one night, to create a Photoshop piece of this upcoming event. I was so psyched for concert that I wanted to sport it on my desktop because I simply could not wait. So I decided to create something with all of the eleven bands. I decided to go with a grungy poster sort of look. I'm not sure what to call it. I had a blast at Projekt Revolution, it was one of the funnest days I've ever had. All of the bands were amazing with their own styles. I was disappointed that Styles of Beyond did not show up at my venue as I was looking forward to seeing them, however it was still an amazing concert. It's the first Projekt Revolution I've ever been to and the first concert of that size and length that I've been to. There was a great line up of bands for this tour, my favorite bands include Linkin Park, Taking Back Sunday, HIM, Julien-K, Saosin, Styles of Beyond (even though I didn't get to see them) and Madina Lake. Awesome bands, awesome music, all in one long music filled day. I can't wait until they do another Projekt Revolution Tour or until Linkin Park comes around again. It was truly a day to remember, and I hope to have many more experiences just like it.

11 bands...
29 venues...
thousands of miles...
ONE revolution!

Check it out at www.projektrevolution.com

Blog? More Like Blarg!

2007-10-06T17:02:00.001-07:00

For my first blog entry I shall post a piece of Photoshop work I did fairly recently. It's one of my best pieces, I treasure it a lot and it is also dedicated to my favorite band. I saw them live on 7/29/07 and it was the most amazing concert I have ever been to. This wallpaper that I created is based off of their new album Minutes To Midnight. I tried to capture that along with their older grungier visual style of the previous three albums Hybrid Theory, Meteora and Reanimation. I was also inspired, after listening to a live recording of the concert I went to, and decided to make this, slowly I pieced it together and was very happy with my results. I've only ever made two other Photoshop works that had Linkin Park in it, that I was completely happy with. I will post those two up next. I'd like to end this entry by saying, Linkin Park is a fantastic band with some of the most creative and talented musicians I've ever heard, they are truly amazing.
Check out Linkin Park's website at www.linkinpark.com

*Note: I still need to locate this piece, it went missing off the servers. I have it backed up somewhere.